Leading By Example

Ana Nelson
Jun 16, 2016
6 min read

I watch my two young ladies play, without care in the world. Their little feet race through the fresh-cut grass, the wind sing a song through their soft hair. Their smiles warm my soul, my heart is overjoyed ... and all at once I'm taken by the thoughts of the past. My mind races with all these memories of my shortcomings as a mother, the mother I was without Jesus.

My smile slowly fades from my face as I think on the example I gave my daughters for such a long time. I don't want them to remember who I was, I don't want them to be who I was. How I wasted years doing what I wanted and not leading by example through the Holy Spirit. Their smiles, the way their little hearts rely on my example pushes me to be a godly woman. Watching them successfully become women of God requires me to become one first. It requires me to lay my life down at the feet of Jesus. It requires me to say no to many things that my daughters can take from my example, and had I kept going down that path it could have destroyed their final destination as young woman. It requires me to lean on Jesus, It takes me, being an example and following the example of someone greater than me, Jesus.

I recall many terrible choices I made as a mother, that led my daughters down a path of sinful behavior at a young age. All of it was due to my lack of knowledge in being their role model. Especially in a world that feeds our fleshly desires to do what makes us happy. In a world that tells us to do whatever we need to be happy. It took many years for me to understand what it meant to lead my daughters by example. It took tears, long nights staring at the stars wondering if God could ever forgive me, wondering if I had a chance of raising young women who would be better than me, who would love God more than me, be zealous of his word more than me. It took watching them do as I did to realize I needed to change first. It took repentance, I needed a savior! It took Jesus. I was a mess of a young mom. My heart was far from that of a woman leading her children to Christ.

Jesus cares about our hearts, it all flows from there.

The way we speak, how we act, how we dress, what we listen to, how we treat others, who we decide to marry, how we choose to live our life, and ultimately where we end up after this life.

As I drew closer to God in my early 20's I quickly realized the traps I was setting for my daughters future with my ungodly example. To name a few:

I would talk terribly about others. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)
I dressed in a provocative way. Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control. (1 Timothy 2:)
I had a foul mouth. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. (Colossians 3:8)
The music I allowed to echo through my walls. Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. (1 John 2:15)
The way I spoke to their father. ...and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)
I was sexually immoral with my secret sin to pornography, I was mean, cruel to speak, without compassion or gentleness. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. (Galatians 5:19-21)

Have I scared you yet? This is reality, this was me, a young mother without God. How can I lead my daughters to Jesus when I haven't surrendered my life to him. These were my thoughts, right up to the day I gave my WHOLE life to Jesus, the day I picked up my cross. It was on that day the Holy Spirit of the Lord started peeling away all these things. He started to polish me as a young woman and as I continued to walk with God, I felt the conviction from The Holy Spirit leading me to let go of many hidden desires; many external desires. I found myself challenged to lead my children by example and only by the power of God, was I able to understand how important it was to set a foundation on Christ for my parenting ministry.

I am the closest woman in my daughter's life, who has the power to lead them to someone great. We live in a world that tells us mothers to "do what makes you happy". Friends, that's not biblical at all scripture tells us to lay down our life for God, he calls us to deny ourselves, to walk in the spirit. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. (Galatians 5:17)

THEN will we be up to the challenge of raising godly offspring, or as scripture calls it, fruitful children. My calling as a mother has been one of the most challenging and yet most beautiful careers I've been given the privilege of taking on. I can't stress enough that God cares about the example we are setting for our young children, our teenagers and even, young mothers.

Once we give our life to God, we are never the same. The things that once held us captive, in Jesus name sets us free! As mothers our oxygen too, should come from scripture, our lives should be saturated with the holy word of God. Being a mother and leading by example is hard because there are many things the Holy Spirit calls us to stop doing that our flesh, and this world don't want to give it up. Trust me when I say, let it all go. Surrender to Jesus, ask the Holy Spirit to shed light in your life of the things that are not of example to your children. Be obedient to the rebuke and give thanks to God for his unfailing love and example to us. What better example do we have then Jesus? What better gift can we give our children then to be a woman chasing after Jesus? How precious is our God that no matter what you have done, as a mother his grace is enough.

God fills the crevices we miss daily as mothers chasing after him.

My mother has always been a woman of faith and her example (though I became A prodigal daughter) was what reminded me that there was a God. My mom day and night chased after God, because I saw it by her example, EVEN whilst after running from God I knew what motherhood in Christ looked like. It wasn't what I was doing but her example was always in my heart and trust me, it will eat at your growing children knowing they have the solution (repentance and returning to God) but can't do it, because it requires our flesh to be denied.

I'm thankful my mother set that foundation for us.

My daughters are amazing young ladies and when asked what they love about me, they reply with, "she loves Jesus, my mom follows Jesus". Those words, those words bring tears to my eyes. That's all I've ever wanted, that's all I'll ever want my daughters to see in me, because if they see my example of knowing Jesus, walking with him, speaking about him to those in need, following him... They have it all. Let us ask God to help us let go of what we want, and to give us the strength to be the example he called us to be with obedience.

Ana Nelson

I’m a Wife and a Mother, longing to fulfill God’s will in my life by, serving and learning characteristics of a Godly woman, in a world that attacks the most beautiful ministry. My heart’s desire is to share the bit I’ve learned in hopes to reach other young mom’s and wife’s to serve wholeheartedly in their homes and see the beauty of it. The world we live in teaches woman to have hard hearts and weak minds, but God calls us to be of a quiet spirit to learn from The Holy Spirit and unmovable minds to teach our children and love our husbands regardless of what the world says. We’re not perfect and I won’t pretend to be. I’m a sinner in search of God’s glory through my calling as a mother and wife.