Love is not like the movies...

I used to believe in a fairytale love, until one day I was hit with the reality stick. Ohh and let me tell you that was not only a shock, but gosh it hurt too! As it appeared, things weren't as perfect as they'd been made out like in the disney movies I grew up watching.

My perception of love, how to love and how to be loved was warped and my foundations were not built on solid rock. My emotions unstable and my reality shaken. I would live for the good love, I would hope and dream on it, then when hard times come it was almost the end of the world. Sure this was how my life looked five years ago (with little hints of it showing up along the way) but praise the Lord for he has revealed a lot to me in that time (Hallelujah) and I am grateful for the way I understand love today.

Love is not the fairytale I once believed.

Instead, love is a choice.

I understand now that it is a decision I must make to remain in love, to remain loving and to gratefully receive the love my husband gives me, yet not expecting that to surpass or replace the love that only Christ alone can truly offer and truly fulfill.

His love (the love of Christ) must be the love that satisfies us, for his love is unfailing and unending, his love unfathomable and there is nothing we could do that would make him love us any less, for his love is unconditional.

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

- Romans 8:37-39

Isn't it beautiful that the God who created the heavens and earth, intentionally created you and I. Sister he loves you so much and that love should be your first love! That love should satisfy our souls, yet like me, do you find yourself at times requiring the love of your husband/ boyfriend/ fiance needing to replace the love of the Father and replace the love of the son?

I'm guilty of this too many times, I expect my husband to love me beyond that which we as humans can love! Then instead of appreciating his love, I begin finding all the faults and making these known rather than showing gratitude for what he gives and does for me! Girl this is not healthy and not what God intended.

When times aren't "perfect" and things don't always go as I would have hoped and planned, maybe even when an argument happened and misunderstandings took place, my heart used to shut off, close up and for a moment I found it easy not to love, not to be in love, not to feel love towards the man I knew God had set apart for me to be with. All of that gone in an instant, because I laid my foundations of love down on my emotions rather than laying my foundations of love down on the one who is love.

"He who does not love does not know God, for God is love."

- John 4:8

Yes the one who is Love is God and he tell us to love one another, for love is of God.

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God."

- John 4:7

Love is a choice, and it is a Godly one. It is the one as followers of Christ we should be making, when your marriage is falling apart or your relationship is having a moment of despair, we must Love, we must remain in love and we must choose to display that which is in us.

Yes it is easy to blame the other side for what they are not doing well enough, or for what they aren't even doing at all. Yes it is easy to see the short falls and to see and feel the emptiness. But this is not a reflection of our other halves... Oh no, it's more a reflection of self. A reflection of where you are truly standing with Christ!

Oh snap, is that confronting? Well I'm sorry but sometimes we need to be confronted to remind ourselves where God has commanded us to stand, how he has commanded us to act and whom he calls us to be.

We are his children and we best be acting like it, no not acting like children but acting accordingly to the royal priesthood of Jesus Christ that we fall under as his Children.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

If we replaced the word LOVE with our names are we being all of these? Are we acting as if God is within us? Are we acting in love and making the decision to remain in love with our husbands even when times are bad?

Have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it?

Have you submitted it to God and not just done that but thanked him in advance for what he is doing that may be unseen to us? Are you trusting him as he does go to work on it?

Maybe you are and maybe you aren't I don't know but all I do know is that he is faithful and he is true. When his word says one thing he doesn't mean another. His word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path.

"Your word is a lamp to my feet, And a light to my path" - Psalm 119:105

If things aren't going right take a look back at his word, within it is hidden (in plain sight) the secrets to life, the secrets to love, the secrets to personal growth and the secrets to living the best life possible. Read, listen and obey the Lord, love him with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. And let him work within you and your other half. Be intentional with your prayers and believe he is taking care of them! Thank him in Advance, praise him through the storms and be prepared to move into the life and relationship he intended for you. "No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us."

- 1 John 4:12

It's all there, and you have direct access to his word, his truth and to him, Thank you Jesus. I leave you with this prayer;

Heavenly Father, I pray for my sister here reading this post, reading what you have placed on my heart to write and what your holy spirit has guided to be written. Would you use this woman to influence her household, to influence her other half so that they may see your love through her actions, because you are at work within her. I thank you for being at work within her! She is strong, she is powerful, she is made in your image and she is your child my God. Use her in mighty ways to impact the kingdom of heaven through her family this day. Build her up, soften her heart and may kindness and compassion be on her tongue. Would you please protect her from the attacks of the enemy and turn the attacks around to be used to strengthen her rather than to break her. Let her persevere and let her rise above. For your word says we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. So we receive that strength that comes from Jesus alone and harness it into being filled with your love even in times when it seems so unjust. I pray that your love would be enough for us and we understand you more, grow closer to you and depend on you to fulfill us rather than seeking that elsewhere. Teach us your ways oh Lord and let us understand as you teach. Be with us, transform our hearts and renew our minds. Thank you for what is at work that goes unseen, you are the Lord almighty, enthroned on high and we thank you Lord! We praise you, we love you, we thank you in the name of Jesus. Amen

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Aneta Baker

Our founder of She is Called, has a passion to see women live out their God-given calling in and throughout their lives. Her heart is for you to realise all of what God has placed inside of you and to help you harness that, use that, glorify God and live the life he set apart for you!

Other than running She is Called, you can find Aneta working full time, studying part-time, trying to manage a crazy but wonderful house filled with boys while pregnant with twins. This super mama relies heavily on the grace of God to get her through, but she loves it that way and loves letting you be a part of it too!

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